Tear Filled Nights
by BatManAndFairyFace
Summary: The supernatural is what sealed their fate, but was also the reason behind their broken hearts. When you see the one you love, dying before your very eyes, how do you cope? Living with them can be complicated, but living without them can be brutal.
1. Everything I Am

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

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**Quil's POV**

_Only three more months to go Quil,_ I thought to myself. _Three more months and you can tell her about the imprint._

_Quil? Quil? Quil?! QUIL!_ Jake screamed, his normally calm tone was gone, replaced with panic and fear.

_Jake? What's going on? What's happened?_ I was frantic, as he kept his thoughts blocked. Jake never kept me out of the loop.

_Phase back, Quil._ There's something we need to tell you. He had calmed down quite considerably when he heard my thoughts. I wonder what's up with that...

_Sure thing. What's so important though?_

_You'll find out soon_, was his distant reply before phasing into his human form. Something was definitely wrong, and I need to find out. Jake was never like that. When Same, Jared and Paul stopped phasing to grow old with their imprints, he wasn't this upset. But Jake knew the power of the imprint, so of course he wasn't upset for long.

I phased back, and pulled on my ratty cut-offs. I rummaged through my pocket, pulling out the necklace Claire had made me two years ago.

_**Flashback**_

_**We were sitting on the top of the shed. We always came up here, ever since she was twelve, for our birthdays.**_

_**"Hey Quil..." my angel started.**_

_**"Yeah, Claire-bear?"**_

_**"I just... I wanted to give you this. It's not that great, and not much either. I just, I thought you'd like something like this, but it's okay if you don't. I'll go buy something instead. I mean-"**_

_**I pressed my right index finger to her lips. "Ssh, Claire. You haven't even let me see what it is yet."**_

_**She let out a breath I didn't know she'd been holding. Her hand slipped into the pocket in her jeans, and came out with a leather cord. It was black, and looked long enough to sit just under the hollow of my neck. Hanging from the leather, was a small chocolate brown wolf carving.**_

_**"It's beautiful Claire," was all I said as I slipped it on, toying with the little wolf. She smiled, and her whole face lit up. She was so beautiful. No-one could ever compare to her.**_

_**I leant down and placed a kiss on her forehead, like I'd been doing ever since she was two. She smiled once again, but this one was more shy. Her face tinged red, but only slightly.**_

_**"Quil, I-" she started, but was cut off by her mother, Linette.**_

_**"Claire sweetie! We have to go now! Quil, happy birthday dear. I'm sorry for interrupting."**_

_**"No worries Linnie."**_

_**I jumped from the top, and held my arms out for Claire to jump into. Seconds later, she was wrapped in my embrace, and I swear, I heard her mumble something along the lines of, "I love you, Quil," but I wasn't sure.**_

_**My uncertainty got the better of me, so I whispered a, "goodnight Claire, love you sweetheart."**_

_**End Flashback.**_

That was almost two years ago. The only time I had ever taken the necklace off was when I was patrolling. I always had my emotions in check, so I didn't fear ruining it.

I walked through the front door of the Cullen's house, to see the pack crying, and the Cullen's looking so devastated you'd think someone was dying.

"Quil, I don't know how to put this..." Edward started. Oh dear Lord. "...but Alice here had a vision. It was of Claire." When he said those words, my heart faltered and my breathing stopped. "She's safe Quil. Nothing hurt her physically." I let out my the breath, and sighed in relief.

"Wait... what do you mean physically?" I asked, eyes narrowed.

"Quil, Alice saw her at the cemetery in La Push. She had her eyes closed and was crying. The grave... it wasn't... it was... it was your grave Quil." My jaw dropped and my heart broke. I couldn't let her down. I was her protector, I was meant to stay by her side and keep her safe! I wasn't supposed to die on her!

_How long Edward?_ I thought, directing it at the mind reader.

"I'm assuming from what I saw of her vision, that you will... leave us... in exactly three months" I froze. Her birthday...

"We tried changing it, Quil. I had Jacob change your shifts, had Carlisle to decide to go with you when you're patrol, everything we could think of. Her future did go blank for one decision, but I don't think it was because she was with you," Alice explained, softly keening, and holding on to Jasper. How am I ever going to tell Claire?

"Write her a letter, Quil. I'll give it to her when we gather at Emily's for her party, along with your present of course," Edward suggested. I almost hugged him. Almost.

My brothers... and Leah... pulled me into a group hug. Jacob and Embry were bawling their eyes out, and Seth's usually happy aura was missing as the tears streamed silently from his bloodshot eyes. Sam's face was broken, and Jared and Paul had a tear escape. Collin and Brady were sombre, and did nothing but try to hold back tears. Leah surprised me. She flung her arms around my shoulders, and buried her face in the crook of my neck. Her tears were hot against my skin, but they disappeared quickly because of my extreme body temperature. Her quiet sobs heard throughout the whole house. Nessie had joined the hug, and kissed my cheek, her tears falling freely down her pale face.

"Guys, I... I need to be with Claire. To make her happy before it's all over. I need to spend as much time as I can with her. You guys are family. Don't forget me, 'cause I won't ever forget you. We're family in the truest sense. I... I love you guys."

With that I turned on my heel, and ran to Claire's house. It was six o'clock on a Saturday, and I knew she'd kill me for it, but I needed to spend as much time with her as humanly possible before I died. Not even five minutes later, I was outside her bedroom window. Her room was still painted chocolate brown, from when she was a kid. Apparently it was her favorite color. It took me a while to get it before I understood why. But none of the other guys imprints had painted their rooms the color of their soul mate's fur. My Claire was special. The most important thing besides my pack, more important then the food I eat, or the water I drink, or even the air I breathe. She was what held me to this world. Even after I die, I won't leave this place until she joins me.

I tapped on her window, and smiled just slightly when she fell out of her bed. My Claire was a light sleeper, and scared pretty easily. It was so cute the way she curled into my side when we watched horror films, and the way she lets out little whimpers when she's scared at night, and the way she pretends like she isn't scared, but you can see it in her eyes that she's clearly terrified. I was going to miss her so much. And she wasn't even mine. I had promised her parents, and Sam, that I wouldn't tell her about imprinting until she was 18. I'm not sure if that promise was still valid, but I decided not to tell her, but to write it in her letter.

She glared at me, but her glaring soon turned to one of worry, and sadness. I wonder what I looked like right now, but at this very point in time, it didn't matter. Claire opened the window, and I slid into her room. Her expression was so heartbreaking, I wondered if she knew my time was nearly up. I just hoped to God that the vision will change. Please, dear God, let it be wrong.

"Quil? Quil, what's wrong? Please don't cry. It's okay, I'm here." Her comforting words were hollow. She had no idea that I would let her down, and her whole life would never be the same. I had no idea I was crying until I felt her wipe away the tears that had been falling, for what I guess what quite some time.

"Claire... I... I just wanted to tell you..." I tried to find the right way to tell her. I know I couldn't tell her I imprinted on her, but if I told her that I imprinted, she'd figure it out... right?

"What is it Quilly?" Ever since she was four, she would call me Quilly. It stopped once she got to the age of thirteen, and only used it when she wanted something... and now for comfort. Well, here goes nothing...

"Claire, I imprinted." _Way to be blunt, Quil._

I watched as her eyes went from shock, to happiness, to disappointment. "That's great Quil, who is she?"

"You know who she is... just think about it Claire. I should have told you earlier but I promised-"

"What do you mean 'should have told you earlier'?" she questioned, and the disappointed look was replaced with anger. "How long ago did you imprint Quil?"

"Sixteen years ago. Claire, I couldn't tell you, I promised-"

"I don't care Quil. I'm supposed to be your best friend. For sixteen years you never told me you had a girlfriend?! You didn't mention her, and you sure as hell never introduced me to her! I thought you trusted me." The broken look on her face made me want to throw myself off a cliff, but there was no need for that, when I only had three months left.

"I do trust you, and you are my best friend. I wasn't supposed to tell you until your eighteenth birthday. I know, I shouldn't have kept this from you, you deserve to know."

"If you trusted me you would've told me. If I was your best friend, you would've told me. Best friends tell each other everything, and you kept something huge from me. Doesn't your imprint get mad at you for spending so much time with me? You know what, I don't even want to know. Get out Quil." I stood there, eyes wide open, fresh tears spilling from my eyes. Her eyes softened, but her expression hardened. "Out."

I shuffled my way over to the window, and climbed out. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I ran towards the woods, shaking from head to toe. I quickly pulled my shorts off, and phased as the pain overtook me, piercing my heart. She never wanted to speak to me again. To even look at me. I know it. I let out a pain filled howl, and ran to the Cullen's mansion.

_Quil?_ Jake thought. _What are you doing? Why aren't you with Claire?_

Instead of answering him I let him see what happened in Claire's room.

_Aw Quil, things are going to work out. She'll come around before her birthday..._ he trailed off, trying not to think of what would happen on her birthday.

_Thanks man, but I doubt it. You saw the look on her face, she never wants to see me again, and in three months time, she won't._

_She will bro, just... let her cool off. An imprint can never be mad at her wolf for long._

_I trust you Jake. Let's phase back?_ He agreed silently, and soon I was standing in the forest naked. Yet again, I pulled on my cut-offs, and made my way into the mansion. The pack, Sam, Jared and Paul were sitting at the kitchen table, food piled in front of them, but none of it was touched. The expressions on their faces were devastating, but were quickly masked into a fake smile, obviously to make me less stressed. It didn't work, but I was grateful. They wanted to make everything as happy and normal as possible. But how was I supposed to do that when Claire wouldn't even talk to me? I just wanted to kiss her and tell her I love her.

I spent the rest of the day hanging out at Sam and Emily's. Their two children were running around like everything was normal, even though it was evident it wasn't, and the twins knew that, but they never asked questions, instead attempting to lift everybody's broken spirits. It was obvious they knew, but never spoke of it and for that we were grateful. Kim and Jared, and Paul and Rachel came and spent the day with us, their children, who were younger then Sam and Emily's but still old enough to know something was wrong. We put on a brave face, and acted somewhat normal for the kids.

~-~

It's Claire's birthday tomorrow. She still hasn't spoken to me since the day I told her I had imprinted. I wanted so badly to talk to her, to set things straight, but no matter what I did, how many times I called or how long I stood outside her window, she never caved. She was always stubborn, my girl. Never backing down from a challenge, always trying to prove that she was right. That was one of the reasons I adore her. She's my heart and soul, my everything. Three months of ignorance. Three months of being without her. Three months of crying myself to sleep at night. And I hadn't even written her a letter. I was a pathetic excuse for a wolf. I hoped that she would forgive me after I'm gone.

I knew I shouldn't write her this letter while my emotions were everywhere. I couldn't think of anything else. I just wanted her to know she was the most important person in the world. She was my world. I grabbed the black pen from the drawer, and a piece of paper that looked suitable for her birthday and started writing.

_My dear Claire,_

_I'm sorry I never told you about the imprint before, and I'm not sure if you've figured it out yet, but Claire, you are my imprint. I spent half my life caring for you, looking after you, trying to protect you. When you were two, you looked my in the eyes, gurgled a "hewwo" and from then on, you were my world. I think its kind of ironic. You literally had me at hello, just it wasn't romantic at the time. I know it sounds creepy, because imprinting means you're my soul mate, but it wasn't like that at all. The imprinter will be whatever you want them to be, whether its a best friend, brother, protector or a lover. I was always your big brother growing up, and later it was more like your best friend. I've always been your protector, and always wished that someday, I would become your lover. But I guess that it won't ever happen now. I'm so sorry Claire-bear._

_I promised your Uncle Sam that I wouldn't tell you about the imprint until your eighteenth birthday, and even though I know that I won't be there to celebrate the occasion, I kept to my promise._

_Remember the time when you were obsessed with the song "Everything I Am" by Stanfour? The lyrics of the song... well, its how I'm feeling right now. Its been three months since you last spoke to me, and there are many more to come. Years even. But don't worry about me Claire, I may be gone, but I'll always protect you, watch over you, and love you. No matter what._

_The past three months have been hell without you Claire. Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets. I wish I hadn't kept it from you. Maybe then, we'd be happy, and I'd get to see you one last time. But I know it's impossible. I could never forgive myself for leaving you, but it was something unavoidable. I wish it could be different. I'd hate to leave knowing you hated me._

_Please, Claire, I know this sounds absurd, but I want you to do one thing for me. I want you to be happy Claire. I want you to get married, have kids and become a famous artist. Live your life the way you would if I were there._

_You're my everything Claire, and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. Even if I'm not here for you physically, I'll always be here in spirit._

_I love you, Claire._

_Forever Yours,  
Quil Ateara Jr._

I put down the pen, and sealed the envelope. It was four in the morning. Claire was no officially eighteen. It was usually this time when I'd sneak in through her window, and place her gift on her pillow. But I couldn't do it this year. She didn't want anything to do with me. Instead I picked up her carefully wrapped present, and the sealed letter, and ran to the Cullen's.

When I arrived, Edward was standing out the front, with the pack, the retired wolves, and all the imprints... all except Claire.

I gave Claire's present, and letter to Jake, and he knew what was going on. I asked him to give it to her when we were in wolf form a while back.

I turned around to face everybody, and I was pulled into the biggest hug, with all the imprints, wolves, and ex-wolves. Today was supposed to be one of celebration, not mourning. I can't believe I was ruining her birthday. I couldn't bear to put a damper on her big day. She was now officially an adult. The one I always thought I'd grow old with. I guess not.

Wait... it was four am, and here I was, hugging everybody I ever cared for. Well, almost everybody. But that's besides the point. Why was my family out the front of a mansion owned by the Cullen's, who are vampires, and FOUR IN THE MORNING?!

"They wanted to say goodbye..." came Edward's reply.

I wiped away the tears that were flowing, and took a deep breath. I took a step back, and locked eyes with everybody standing in the driveway/clearing. Most had tears streaming down their face, and the rest were vampires, so they didn't shed a tear. Esme, Alice and Bella were sobbing uncontrollably, while Rosalie looked like she was about to do the same. The men were standing there, looking torn. I wonder what emotions Jasper's feeling right now...

"Let's go inside, I'm sure the kids are cold," I suggested, and everyone agreed.

We spent the next five hours just being in each others presence, and I took comfort in the fact that these people cared for me. All of them meant something to me, even the Cullen's. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have imprinted, and I would have waited at least 18 years before I found her.

"Guys, we have to go now. You have Claire's birthday to set up, and I have to run patrol," I said at ten o'clock.

"Quil, why don't you just come to her party? You don't have to run patrol today," Jake tried to reason with me, but it was no use. If she didn't want me there, I wouldn't be there.

"It's okay. What if some bloo-vamp tries to ruin her birthday? I don't want you guys to be in danger, so go, have fun."

Time Skip - Seven hours later

I was running patrol on the western border, when I came across a sickly sweet scent. Since I was used to the Cullen's scent, I knew immediately it wasn't them. They weren't to arrive until later. This one was heading towards First Beach, only a mile from Claire's house. I had to stop him. If it was the last thing I do.

I was on his trail, and soon enough, I was lunging for him. He dodged my attack, and kicked me in the gut. We fought, dodging and counter attacking. It was a good ten minutes before I tore his arm off from the shoulder. Soon enough, we were in the woods behind Claire's house. I was getting beaten, but since we were so close to the house, the guys should be able to hear us, or smell the vamp at least. When after twenty three minutes none of the pack came to help, I howled. Not long after, I heard the pack come to my rescue.

_Yeah, come now, never mind the fact I've been out here for about an hour fighting this thing,_ I though, my words dripping with sarcasm.

_Sorry, bro. We didn't smell him. I think that's his power, so to speak,_ Jake thought. The pack cornered the nomad, and ripped him apart, while I lay on the grass, naked in my human form. I had no strength left, and the wounds he left were deep. I struggled to pull on my sweat pants, as I heard footsteps approach me. I looked up to see the vampire. Must have gotten away from the pack... Wait, I thought he was cornered. I didn't ask questions, I didn't fight, I just lay there, and waited for him to kill me.

He seemed thrown off by my reluctance to fight. After what seemed like the longest three seconds of my life, he raised his left hand, and clawed at my neck. The pain was excruciating, and the rate my blood was pumping out of the lacerations made it even more painful. But the hardest part was opening my eyes to see Claire, tears streaming down her face, eyes glued on my mutilated body as she screamed, "Quil, don't! Please don't leave me! You promised me! QUIL!" Her cries had triggered something inside, and a tear escaped. Emily and Nessie were holding her back, and she slumped down to her knees, her sobs shaking her body violently. Emily and Ness seemed to think she was giving up, but as soon as they let go of her, she sprinted over to where I lay. The ability to heal fast was useless right now, since the wounds were too deep, and the splintered and shattered bones were not helping at all. I felt someone curl up beside me, and by the way my heart lurched, I knew it was Claire. Her hot tears fell onto my chest, as she tried to stop the bleeding. It was no use, I could already feel the darkness taking over my body, and I knew these were my last moments with her.

"Remember me Claire. I.. Love... You..." I rasped before the darkness overtook me, and the last thing I saw was the beautiful face of my imprint. My Claire.

And very faintly, I heard her whisper six words that made my heart stop beating for good. "I love you too, Quil. Forever."

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**A/N: **so, I'm back, and I've brought a new story with me!

I'm not sure what you guys think as of yet, but I was wondering if I should go on, or just leave it as a one-shot. I have all these idea's for it, and I really want to continue, so if I do, it will be Claire's life after Quil dies. It will be told in different points of view, the main one being Claire's. It will also be told in Jake, Embry, Nessie, Edward and Alice's POV (Edward and Alice for their powers and Nessie's because she's Claire's best friend; of course Jake and Embry because Quil was their best friend). So review and tell us what you think.

and to those who have read our other story 'With Me' we will continue, because you love us oh so much. so a new chapter of that should be up in about a week, since we're working on four stories at once, as well as trying to come up with a way to make out story 'Your Love is a Lie' more interesting, and bring our favourite wolf into it ;D

see you on the flip side,  
Rachel and Gabby x


	2. Burn the Night Away

**I just wanted to thank my wonderful beta **_HyperPixiexoxo_ **for putting up with my horrid grammar, and punctuation. **

**and just so ya'll know, the chapter title's are the names of songs I use for inspiration, so check 'em out ;D  
**

**Disclaimer: if I owned Twilight, would Jake have been hurt multiple times by Bella? I think not.**

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**Claire's POV**

It's been ten years since the day I watched the man I love die. Ten years of pain. Ten years of trying to move on. My husband of six years, Joel Hyman, was supportive. I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him. Six years of marriage meant nothing compared to the two minutes that both completed and broke my heart. It brought me joy to hear him say he loved me, but only seconds later, he was gone. Nothing could ever hurt me as much as trying to move on. I know it isn't fair on Joel, but I couldn't deny him his last wish. He told me to be happy, and live my life as if he was the one supporting me. I can remember exactly what happened the day that bloodsucking bastard took his life.

_Flashback_

_We were sitting in the living room, the pack, my family and I. Everyone was here, everyone except the one person I wanted to be here._

_Suddenly, a desperate howl pierced my heart. I knew that howl anywhere. That was my Quil. He sounded hurt. I couldn't let him be hurt. He had his imprint, but he still held my heart. I might not be the one for him, but it doesn't matter, because in that same moment the pack was out the back door, and the desperate howl was cut off suddenly._

_The imprints tried to hold me back, but we managed to drift to the steps outside the house. I looked up to see my best friend, pulling his sweatpants into place. I looked over at the rest of the pack, who had tried to rip the vampire apart, but the short brown hair wasn't over with the over-grown wolves. I looked back at the man I loved, and standing over him, was the vampire. He raised his clawed hand, and slashed at Quil's throat. The blood was pumping out too fast for his quick healing to save him. I knew that. He opened his eyes and looked into mine, but I couldn't concentrate on that. My eyes were glued to his mangled form with the blood pumping out way too fast to be healthy. The shouts burst from my lips and I struggled in Emily and Nessie's grip. I couldn't leave my Quil dying without anyone. I may not be his imprint, but I was his best friend. I slumped to the ground, defeat clear on my face, and as soon as their grip loosened, I sprinted for him. The tears falling from my eyes landed on his chest as I curled into his side. I tried to stop the bleeding as best I could, but I was too late._

_He seemed to realize this was our last moments together, because he whispered the words I longed to hear. "Remember me Claire. I... Love... You..."_

_His words made my heart soar, but I held it back, and whispered the words I had always wanted to say, "I love you too, Quil. Forever." I pressed my lips to his softly, but he was gone. Just a shell of what used to be my best friend._

_That was when the tears clouded my vision, and all I could hear were my sobs._

_End Flashback._

"Mommy? Mommy, why are you crying? Please, don't cry mommy, it makes me sad." My little boy, Ethan Quil Hyman, tugged at my sleeve, and wiped away my tears. My baby was so caring. He was almost five years old, but he acted so much older. Ethan had made friends with the pack, the ones who still treated me like family, even though my imprinter was gone. They kept me whole. Always telling me the memories they had of Quil. They were always so funny, but I found myself wiping away tears, missing the way he always used to hold me tight and tell me not to cry. I tried. I tried for his sake. I knew he wouldn't want me sad, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be strong, for Ethan, for Quil.

"It's okay baby. Do you want to go to the cemetery with me?" I asked. I hadn't been there since his funeral. I never wanted to go in case I had disappointed him. But it was the anniversary of his death; my twenty-eighth birthday. The letter he had written for my eighteenth birthday was still in my drawer, and I read it every year. But this year it's different.

"Sure mommy. But why are we going there?" Ethan asked; his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

"Because baby, I'm going to introduce you to someone very special," I told him, tears threatening to spill again.

He either knew I wasn't going to be able to hold my tears back any longer, or he saw one leak from my eye, because he climbed next to me, and curled up by my side on the bed. Ethan looked just like his father; slightly tanned, dark brown hair, and pretty tall for his six years. The only thing he had inherited from me was his hazel eyes. Those eyes were way too mature for someone so young.

I turned to look at the clock; it was three in the morning. He shouldn't be awake trying to comfort his depressed mother. It wasn't right.

"Baby, go to sleep. We'll go there when your daddy gets home." Joel was working the night shift at the hospital, so we would have to wait until he came home at five, in two hours. I would let him sleep until twelve, and then we would make our way to the cemetery by one o'clock this afternoon. I should call the pack and tell them to meet us at the gates of the cemetery at one. I checked to see if Ethan was sleeping yet, that kid had the talent of falling asleep at will, just like Quil.

I rolled off of the bed, and grabbed my cell phone. It was really old. I got it for my seventeenth birthday from Quil, and I'm surprised it hasn't broken yet. I tapped the screen, and I saw a picture of me and Quil, sitting on the old swing, laughing and smiling. This was the way I wanted to remember him, not how I last saw him... My breath caught, and I hunched over, trying to hold myself together. Every time I thought of how Quil looked before he died it felt like I had been punched by one of the pack.

I tapped the screen a few more times, before I found Joel's number. I needed to tell him what I planned to do today. I never told him how much Quil meant to me. I only ever said he was my best friend who died. That was an understatement. Quil was so much more then my best friend. Our connection was so much stronger. I couldn't stop thinking of Quil as I tapped the call "button" and brought it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey Joel, it's Claire. I was just letting you know that Ethan and I are going to the cemetery today at one o'clock. Do you want to come?" I couldn't take one without the other. I would need them both so much.

"Sure honey. I get off in an hour, so after I catch up on some sleep we can leave a little earlier?" His uncertainty made it sound like a question.

"No, I told the guys to meet us there at one." It wasn't completely a lie, since I was going to tell them to meet us there at one.

"Oh..." Joel didn't really like the pack, because they always told stories about how much Quil loved me, and how much I meant to him. "Okay, one it is."

"Okay. See you soon. Bye honey." I winced when I said this. It didn't sound right when I said it to him. The only people I could say stuff like that to without feeling disgusting, was Ethan and the pack.

"Bye baby, I love y-" I hung up before he could finish and I would be forced to say it back. It was mean, but I couldn't do it.

I tapped a few more buttons on the touch screen, and dialed Embry. He picked up on the third ring.

"Claire, are you okay? Is something wrong? Do you need the pack to come over? Claire why aren't you answering my questions? Claire don't die!" Embry said all in one breath. I don't know how he managed it.

"Embry, calm down. Jeez, I just wanted to know if you could get the guys and their imprints to come down to the cemetery at one o'clock today." I didn't want to call everyone because they all had kids, all except Embry, but he was expecting one from his fiancé, Caroline, who was six years younger than me.

"Sure thing. Do you want them to bring the kids, or should they stay with Jamie and Dana?" Jamie and Dana were Sam and Emily's oldest children. They were turning seventeen in a few months

"The kids can stay with Jamie and Dana. I want to introduce Ethan and Joel to Quil. I haven't been to the cemetery since his funeral Embry. I'm not sure how I'll react, but I need you guys there. You're my family." I wonder how he'll react to that. I haven't said that ever. No matter how many times I've thought it, I have never once said it to them.

"Thanks Claire-bear. You know you'll always be apart of the family. We love you, and we don't know how much it hurts you, but we know that it's definitely hurting you right now." I heard a voice in the background. It was most likely Caroline. I say most likely because even though they're engaged, Caroline doesn't want to have him move in just yet, so when he isn't staying at Caroline's, he was crashing at Emily and Sam's place.

"I'll let you go Embry. Don't forget to call everyone. Night Embry, love you." Just like with the pet names, I could only say 'I love you' or 'love you' to Ethan and the pack.

"I won't forget. Night Claire, love you too." With that he hung up. I was always closer to Embry, Brady and Collin, out of everyone. I mean, I loved them all the same, it's just Embry has always been so caring after Quil... left us. And Brady and Collin would always take me out to the beach, or the park, or a cafe if ever I looked down. One time they drove me all the way out to Seattle just to get ice cream. I would always be grateful for their attempts to make me feel better, because even though they both had imprints they'd give up their time with them just to spend time with me.

I looked over at the clock. It was quarter to four already, I must have been thinking for a while. I wondered what it would be like going back to his grave. At the funeral, when everyone had left, I stood there, tears streaming down my face. I can remember what happened with perfect clarity.

_Flashback._

_I wanted to be alone. The pack could sense that, and they had told everyone to leave me be. I walked over to his grave, and knelt down beside it, the tears streaming from my eyes, much like a waterfall. My head had found its way to the ground, and I pressed my cheek into the dirt, closing my eyes._

_"I'm so sorry Quil. It's all my fault. I'm sorry Quil. I love you. Please forgive me," I whispered into the ground._

_I felt something light touch my face, and brush away a tear. I opened my eyes to find nothing. I was confused until I heard a familiar voice._

_"It's okay Claire-bear. It was never your fault. I love you..." the voice was so quiet, I wasn't sure if I heard it, so I spoke again._

_"I miss you Quil. I always will. I'll never forget you. Please don't forget me," I begged the tears coming even faster._

_"I won't ever forget you Claire Eliza Young. I will always love you. Please, be happy baby girl." The voice was a little louder, but still a whisper. The words made my heart swell and the tears slow._

_"Don't leave me Quil. I won't survive without you. I love you Quil." I couldn't hold back the sob that wracked through my body._

_"I won't leave you Claire. Just remember, I'm right beside you in an empty room. I must go now Claire. I love you, with my heart and soul." The voice whispered, and I no longer felt the presence of the one person who could keep my sane._

_"Don't leave me Quil!" I wailed. I cried noisily, until Brady came and lifted me off the ground some time later; his imprint, Natalie, walking right beside him. As he carried me to his car, I felt the calming presence once again, and fell asleep to the lullaby it hummed softly in my ear._

_End flashback._

I looked over at the clock again. It was five thirty, and Joel would be in very soon. I decided to wait up, and once he gets home, I'll go for a run. Soon enough, Joel walked through the door. I said a quick good morning before grabbing some clothes, and getting changed in the bathroom. I tied my hair back and brushed my teeth, before rushing out of the bathroom to pull on my runners.

I was out the door and down the street in seconds. I had to get rid of all the depressing thoughts that were making their way into my mind. I ran for losing the man of my dreams. I ran for moving on. I ran for hurting Joel. I ran for upsetting Ethan. And most of all, I ran for being weak. Quil always told me to be strong, and never let anybody know they hurt me. I let everybody on the reservation know how much it hurt to lose Quil. When I finally went back to school, the teachers gave me disapproving looks, while all the girls snickered and whispered about what was really going on between Quil and me. The guys at school started to hit on me, because they thought I was easy, since I had apparently been sleeping with Quil and was carrying his baby. Whenever I told them to leave me alone they'd say, "It's not like your boy toy's here to save you. He's dead remember?" When Aaron said that the youngest wolf, Scott, had punched him in the face, which knocked him out. I laughed at the memory.

It had been a while since I left the house, and when I looked around I was standing out the front of a house. It wasn't a random house I just decided to stop at; this was the house that made me feel safe. It looked abandoned, which wasn't a surprise. Ever since he passed away, none of the pack ever came back here. The house that Brady, Collin, Embry and Quil had bought and paid for was now abandoned, and empty of everything except Quil's things. I was the only person to come back here.

I grabbed the key that was underneath the flowerpot on the railing that sat next to the door. As I walked through the door, the familiar scent assaulted my senses, and the tears that flowed during the run to get here slowed. Walking with caution, I padded into his bedroom, where all his things lay. I couldn't bring myself to pack things away, so instead I did what I do every year. I crawled into his unmade bed, and buried my face into his pillow while the tears spilled from my eyes and I imagined his arms wrapped around my waist. The memories I had of him ran through my mind, lulling me to sleep.

Even in my unconsciousness, the memories still came. It was comforting at first, then came the three months before my birthday, before he died. They were lonely, and cold. It came closer and closer to the day he died, but I couldn't wake up fast enough. The picture of his mangled form was the last thing I saw before I woke up and screamed. My breath came in shallow pants, as my heart regulated its rhythm. I turned to look at the digital clock that was sitting on his bedside table, but before I could see the time, I was distracted by a photo. It was a photo of Quil and me, on First Beach. I was sixteen, and he looked around twenty. Our hands were intertwined, and were smiling at the camera. Even though I was only sixteen, I looked a few years older, so to bystanders, we probably looked like a couple. I sighed, thinking of the way things could have been, if only I weren't so stupid. Blinking away all traces of tears, I finally looked away from the memory captured, and glanced at the green numbers on the clock. 11:47. I needed to get back to Ethan and Joel, if we wanted to be at the cemetery by one. I crawled out of his messy bed, and wiped away the tear tracks that had made an appearance. Slowly, I left the house, and locked the door. I turned and reluctantly started to jog away from the place that once housed the love of my life.

It took my exactly four minutes and forty three seconds to reach my house. I showered, dressed and made a quick lunch for the two boys before I woke them up. It wasn't long until they were ready and we were driving towards the cemetery.

I sat in the front seat, fiddling with the necklace that meant more to me then my wedding ring. It was the very last present Quil had given me before his death. It was a rose quartz stone in the shape of a heart, hanging on a thin silver chain. Ever since Edward Cullen had given it to me, saying it was from Quil, I had never taken it off.

The rumble of the car soothed me some, as I closed my eyes and tried not to think of the day that ruined everything.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So, um, hi –waves-

I know there's only like, two people that are reading this, one of them being my beta, and the other is just amazing, and read it because I practically begged her too, but that isn't the point. The point is… well, I'm not exactly sure what my point is. Darn it.

And if I do happen to have any more reviewers/subscribers/alerters, then I will love you for eternity. But mostly reviewers; they're my favourite kind of people ;] -hint hint-

And to those who bothered reading this long note, then I suggest you check out the story **Tears**, by **Bittersweet Perfection**. It's amazing. I love it, and I'm sure you will too.


	3. Stand in the Rain

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters :(

* * *

Joel had parked the car, and we sat in silence as Ethan stirred. I could tell my face was a void of emotion, but I couldn't bring myself to escape the trance that held me in place.

Slowly, I zoned back in to the reality that undoubtedly crushed me with each passing second that ticked by sluggishly, as my heart beat its painful rhythm. The thoughts were flashing through my mind, as I saw a group of people, standing at the gates, which I immediately recognized as the pack and their imprints.

I smiled gently at those who were looking in my direction, and climbed out the car to grab Ethan.

"Momma," he murmured his voice thick with sleep, "what's going on? Where are we?"

"Hey baby. We're at the cemetery. Remember I said that I was taking you to meet someone special?" I cooed, as I reached over to help him from the car.

"Are you gonna be sad momma? 'Cause if you are, I don't wanna meet them," he said stubbornly, as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't know baby. C'mon, look, there's Aunty Leah and Uncle Kyle," I said, hoping to distract him from the onslaught of emotions I could feel brewing beneath the surface. The distraction worked, as Ethan ran straight towards Leah and her imprint, who just so happened to be part of the pack. She smiled, and lifted him up to set him on her shoulders.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Joel whispered in my ear, as he grabbed my hand, squeezing it lightly.

"Very," was the best reply I could come up with, without tearing up.

He sighed, and turned to glare at Embry, Collin and Brady, the three that helped me overcome my depression, and get out of bed. I gently pulled my hand out of Joel's grip, and shoved my hands in my pockets, before I began walking towards them.

Jake and Nessie had flown all the way from their third honeymoon in Tahiti to come today. How they got here so fast, I'll never know. I guess having a psychic Aunt has its advantages…

When I finally reached them, I was pulled into a bear hug, courtesy of Brady. All the other ex-wolves and imprints were then surrounding us, making it a group hug. Even though most of the pack had stopped phasing (all except Jake, Embry, Brady, Collin and Seth) they all still had the extreme body temperature of a wolf, and that was what made the loneliness even more pronounced and unbearable.

The group hug was over all too soon, and even though it made me feel alone, it was even worse without the comforting heat. Jake and Seth came to stand beside me, Jake holding my right hand, and Seth wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Ethan was still on Leah's shoulders and Joel was busy ogling Nessie. This made Jake growl, and Joel's eyes to move from Ness to Ethan.

"How are you Claire? Is everything okay?" Jake asked. He was like an older brother to me, throughout my whole life, so his concern was deeper then most.

"I'm fine, Jake. Everything's going good." My voice was only just above a whisper, so I dropped it even lower. "Jake, I need you to do me a favour."

"Sure, Claire, what is it?" he asked his voice a whisper, though everyone but Joel and Ethan could hear.

"If I die, and Ethan I still under 18, I want you or one of the other wolves to apply for custody. Joel would never let you see him, and you guys are the only family we have," I breathed. I could feel the waves of confusion rolling off of him.

"What do you mean that we're the only family you two have? You have Joel."

"Yes, we have Joel, but he's just there because he's Ethan's father. He doesn't care for us, not like you guys do. He'll say 'I love you' but he never means it. He just wants someone to relay the message to him, so he feels needed. All we really need is you guys. Please Jake promise me if I die you won't let Ethan stay with Joel." I was practically begging him, if need be, I'd get down on my knees.

"Of course, we won't go against that, right Seth?"

"Trust me Claire, we'll fight for him, just like we'd fight for you," Seth promised.

"Thanks guys. I knew I could count on you. You remember where he was buried, right?" I changed the subject, because Joel was now only a few feet away and obviously eavesdropping.

"Psh, of course we remember! We come here every month, unlike you, who never ever comes!" Jake teased, nudging my arm to make sure I knew he was only kidding.

"Shut up Jake," I grumbled playfully, as I stuck out my tongue like the mature adult I am.

He laughed, but from then on nobody spoke, as we made our way through the cemetery to where _he_ was buried. Now that we were at the cemetery, I couldn't bring myself to even think his name. If I did, I would surely end up in tears before we even got to his grave.

After what felt like hours of walking, we finally reached a patch of green grass that was covered in flowers, all various colors and shades. My already melancholy aura now turned into the deepest stage of depression, as I read the inscription on his gravestone.

_In loving memory of_

_Quil Ateara Jr._

The rest of the words were a blur, as the tears escaped. I only vaguely registered a little hand grasp my wrist, as I fell to my knees and covered my face with my hands. The sobs wracked through my body, and Ethan's quiet sobs were heard beside me.

As soon as I quieted down enough to speak, I said two words, before more tears sprang to my eyes.

"Embry, explain," I demanded. I curled up into a fetal position on the floor, while the tears leaked from my eyes and into the grass as I heard Embry explain to Ethan why I was crying.

"Mr. Embry, why's my momma crying?"

"You see Ethan, the man who loved your momma very much died on her eighteenth birthday.

"A few months before he died, your momma told him to leave her alone, and to never speak to her again. So he did exactly what your momma said to do, even though it hurt him very much. A week later, he was diagnosed with cancer, and tried to call her, but she never answered." So that was the cause of death they came up with. I didn't want to know what excuse they had come up with, so I was never told.

"He wrote her a letter, telling her he loved her very much, and kept it from everyone, until he died. A nurse found his letter in one of the draws beside his hospital bed, and gave it to me. I gave it to your momma, and she read it, and realized how silly she was for letting him go. Your momma cried for weeks and weeks because she loved him very much."

"Embry, you're saying 'very much' heaps. Quit it."

"Sorry Seth, but do you wanna tell the story? No? Shut up then," Embry snapped.

"Mr. Embry, if my momma loved him, why'd she marry my dad?" I heard Ethan ask, and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.

Joel didn't actually know why I married him, or why I had a child with him, but he wasn't in love with me, and I wasn't in love with him. The only thing keeping us together was Ethan; if not for him, we would've gotten a divorce years ago.

"Your momma promised him that she'd move on; get married, have kids and all that jazz. She went to college and met your dad. She ended up loving him too, just not as much as she loved Quil." I could tell Embry was going to continue, but Ethan asked another question.

"Who's Quil?" his angelic voice asked, confusion dripping from every word.

"Whose grave do you think we're standing at? Quil was the man who loved your momma, kid.

"Anyways, she loved you dad, but loved Quil more. But she promised him she'd move on, so your folks got married. That's where you come in. Don't get me wrong, your parents love you a lot," Embry quickly assured Ethan. He, of all people, knew what it was like to have one of your parents not love you.

"I know they do. Did Quil make my momma happy though Mr. Embry? Did she cry when he was around?" Ethan asked innocently.

"Quil made your momma the happiest woman alive. She never cried with him around. And if she did, he'd go beat up whoever it was that made her cry." With this, my laugh came out as a chocked sob, when I remembered the time my boyfriend abused me for breaking up with him when I was 17. Even through the tears, I smiled.

"Momma, why did you stop speaking to Quil?" Ethan asked me, his voice full of confusion as to why I ignored a dying man, and hurt, probably because from what he knew, Quil died before I got to tell him I loved him.

"Well, baby, I stopped talking to Quil a few months from my birthday because he told me something, and I over-reacted. I told him to get out, and to never speak to me again. Then when he called me, I hung up, and then after he rang for the third time, I blocked his number." I hung my head in shame, but continued. "He would send me e-mails, but I never read them. He'd write me letters, but I would throw them out. He even got Aunty Leah to come and speak to me, but I yelled at her, and told her I didn't want to hear it. Then on my birthday, Embry gave me a letter, saying that it was important, and I had to read it. I did, and that's how I found out he was dead."

"What did he tell you momma?" Ethan asked, tears welling in his beautiful hazel eyes.

"He… He told me he was in love. I thought he was in love with someone else, because Uncle Sam had told him not to tell me who it was," I paused to glare at Sam, who smiled sheepishly, "I thought that because he wouldn't tell me that it was someone else, like my best friend, but it was really me. I told him to get out, and once he left, I cried. I shouldn't have ignored him, but I was being silly, so I never got to say a proper goodbye." Somewhere during my explanation, the tears began to leak from my eyes. I took a deep breath, and wiped at the tears uselessly, as more were already spilling over.

"What?" Joel's icy voice made our heads whip around to look at him curiously.

"You married me because you promised _Quil_?" he sneered. His face was the epitome of calm, but I could see the fire burning in his eyes. I was immediately behind the pack, who were all crouched in defensive positions. The imprints surrounded me, and Ethan was placed in my arms. But never did Joel's eyes leave mine, as he started into them with so much hatred I shrunk back into Rachel and Emily. "You honestly never loved me? I mean, I could see it in your eyes, every time I touched you, or told you I loved you, but you spill your guts out to our son, who doesn't even know the asshole that loved you, and now he's _crying_ over him?! He doesn't even care that you don't love me, all he cares about is how happy _Quil_ made you!" Joel roared, causing Ethan to start sobbing.

My poor baby. He's never seen his father so angry. I on the other hand, have witnessed his fury time and time again. Every night while Ethan is sleeping, Joel would hurt me for all different reasons.

"Joel, back away now, and no-one gets hurt," Jake ordered, hints of his Alpha tone seeping into his words. But Joel didn't take his threat seriously, like he should have.

"Right, what are you gonna do about it? You and your pack of mutts should just leave." I froze. How did he find out about it? My face must have been a mask of shock, because Joel had answered my unspoken question.

"Don't look so surprised. I read the letter in your drawer. I was a little confused when I kept seeing the word 'imprint', then even more confused when I saw 'soul mate', so I did a little research on your tribal stories. I read them all, and observed your little "family" for a while. I saw all the signs, and the pieces were put together perfectly." I could see all the wolves stiffen, and Ethan gave me a questioning look. I just shook my head, and continued to stare at Joel.

The rain started to pour down, and all I could do was stare at Joel, pleading with my eyes for him not to hurt me. It was no use; I could see the burning hatred for the pack, for me, for Ethan, all in his cold, hard eyes. I knew it was right for me to ask Jake to make sure that the pack fought for custody.

After what seemed like hours, Joel finally tore his eyes from mine, and left without another word. I silently passed Ethan off to Collin, and made my way to _his_ grave. I felt the tears well up again, as I stared at the wet grass covering the ground. I would not let the tears fall. I could feel _his _presence, and it calmed me some, but it also made me somewhat hysterical.

Instead of my normal sobs, and tears, I shrieked, just like at his funeral. I begged him to come back for me, just like I did every night in my sleep. Ethan wrapped his little arms around my neck, and sobbed into my chest. He had never seen me like this before. Now I was letting him know how much it hurt me to be here again. But it could only get better with time, I guess.

* * *

_Five hours later…_

Finally, the tears stopped coming, and the pack was still here. I was so grateful, it brought fresh tears to my eyes, but they didn't fall. I would only ever shed another tear for _him_.

"Let's get going. C'mon Claire…" Seth picked me up, and carried me back to his car, since Joel had taken mine. I looked around wildly for Ethan, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Ethan?" I croaked.

"No, I'm Seth…?" he replied, dumbfounded.

"Where's Ethan?" I asked again.

"Who's Ethan, Claire? What are you talking about?" Seth asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Find him. I need Ethan. Please, I need my baby! Where is he?!" I was getting hysterical.

"Jake, I think we should take her to go see Carlisle. She's scaring me," Seth said, his voice raised in worry.

I didn't need to see a doctor, I needed my baby. Why didn't they know who he was?

* * *

**Author's Note:** yep, we're spicin' it up a little ;D don't worry, all will be explained in the next chapter, which I've finished, and am just waiting for my _amazing_ beta **HyperPixiexoxo** to fix up and send back to me.

I realized that in the last chapter, I switched Ethan's age from five to six. Now, honestly, I'm not sure what age I put him down as in this chapter, but he's actually five years old.

and I promised my dear friend **Scarlett MacDuff** that I would promote her story, so here we go... drom roll please... the story is called **Skate to the Moon**, and it's a PaulxOC fic. I personally love it, because... well, I just do. it's amazing!

see you on the flip side, m'dears,  
Rachel xo


	4. Rain

**Disclaimer: **Twilight is not mine, nor will it ever be. But maybe if I wish hard enough, Stephenie Meyer will give me the wolf pack for my birthday?

* * *

Slowly, I opened my eyes, to find myself lying in a bed surrounded by my family, and the Cullen's. What am I even doing here? Wait… where's Ethan?

I immediately began panicking. Seth had said that he didn't know who Ethan was. He promised though! He promised me that if I were to die, one of the pack members would fight for custody! He lied, he knows who Ethan is, and he loves Ethan… right?

"She's awake," a smooth voice said. All the whispers in the room stopped, and I peeled one eye open, only to shut it immediately when the bright light pierced through my vision.

"Someone, dim the lights please," the same voice spoke. Ah, Edward Cullen, the mind reader. _He _had always told me about how annoying Edward was. I heard a short, soft laugh.

"Momma is Aunty Claire okay?" asked Kim's youngest daughter, Alesondrah Jaimey.

"Ales, honey, why don't you go play with daddy?" I heard Kim whisper to her daughter.

The patter of a child's feet was heard throughout the house, as Ales Jay ran through somewhat empty house.

"Claire? It's Kim. Would you please open your eyes?" I obeyed, and peeled back my lids, to see a very tired looking Kim. She was 14 years older than I, and usually she didn't look her age, but today, she looked ten years older then she was. I couldn't help but feel guilty, because I was the reason behind her stress.

"Claire, I know this is hard to accept, but Ethan… Ethan died." I stopped breathing. What? "Four years ago. Don't you remember?" I shook my head absently, my thoughts still a mess. Ethan isn't dead. He was right there with me today. Wasn't he?

"B-But he was there. And Joel yelled at me for telling him…? Seth and Jake promised…" They promised me! "They promised they wouldn't let anything happen to him! They _promised_ me that they would take care of him, no matter what! They lied to me!" I screeched.

"Claire, listen to Kim," I heard my Aunt Emily demand. I immediately stopped shaking my head, and returned to look at them curiously.

"Honey, Ethan died on his 5th birthday. A few months before your 18th birthday you found out that you were pregnant with Quil's baby," Kim explained. I winced as the pain ripped through my being at his name. "You thought he imprinted on another girl, so you didn't tell him. Then you saw him… d-die. Six months later, you had Ethan. Everything was fine. You met Joel, and dated him for five years. That was when Ethan… He was out in the woods, playing hide and seek with the pack. The vampire… he came back, Claire. They tried to fight him, and keep Ethan out of it, but he was too fast. Ethan was captured, and he… drained him. The pack finally got him, and killed him. You mourned for months. You broke it off with Joel, and never spoke to anyone except Leah." My baby never lived past his 5th birthday.

Suddenly, a wave of memories overtook me, and I did nothing to stop them.

"_Momma, I love you."_

"_Momma? Who's my daddy?"_

"_Momma, why are you crying? Please stop it momma."_

"_Momma, will I ever meet daddy?"_

The laugh of my baby rang through my ears, as one last memory was branded behind my lids, forcing me to see nothing else.

_Ethan, the pack and I, all gathered up in Aunt Emily's living room. The pack had families now, and I had my little piece of Quil. Every time I looked at my baby, all I could see was his father. The only thing he had inherited from me was his hazel eyes; the rest was pure Ateara._

_All standing together in a group, a professional photographer snapped a family picture. The flash stunned Ethan and he began to cry. Scotty had followed me through to the kitchen, helping me quiet Ethan. After he was silent and dozing off, I heard Scott shuffle around a bit more._

"_Claire, I know Quil was your soul mate, and you're much closer to all the other guys, but I just want you to know that I'm always, __**always**__ here if you need any help. I could even step in and be a father figure toward Ethan, you know? You're my sister Claire. It doesn't matter if he isn't here anymore; you're still one of us. We love you Claire."_

_I flung myself into his arms. Scott Black was Jake's cousin. He knew Quil just as well as Jake and Embry did, and he knew how much it hurt me. I cried into his neck, and he carried Ethan and I back into the living room, and sat me on the couch._

"_I promise Claire, I'll look out for you. Just hang in there sweetie."_

That was the last thing Scott said to me before he died. Unfortunately, the rangers from Forks had seen the wolves to be a problem. Scotty was out on patrol that evening, and the deputy had aimed straight for the heart. Scotty didn't live to keep his promise.

Tears welled up, as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Every man that I had ever gotten close to, or loved, had died. I was a danger magnet, and nobody could deny it.

"B-But I saw Ethan. He was there, and Joel was in my apartment! Stop lying to me Kim! Where are they? I don't have time for this; I need to find my baby and my husband!" I flung the blankets off my body, and marched out of the room.

A pair of cold arms wrapped around my wrists, stopping me from walking any farther. I spun around to see a heart broken looking Rosalie. Well at least I think it was Rosalie. The only vampires I knew around here were Nessie, Carlisle, Bella and Edward.

The blond vampire looked at me with so much sadness, I felt my knees buckle and give out beneath me.

"Claire, my name is Rosalie. I need you to listen to me, okay sweetie? I'm going to take you back to my bedroom. We're going to have a little talk, okay? It's about Ethan. No matter what I say, I need you to stay calm, and listen to me, okay?" I nodded mutely, and she smiled, a little brokenly.

"That's my girl. I'm going to pick you up now, okay?" Again, I nodded, and she lifted me easily, and ran to her room.

We were in her room in a flash, and she set me on the bed, and sat beside me. I couldn't bear not having contact, so I crawled into her lap, like a child, and wrapped my arms around her neck and cried. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around me, and we sat there, embraced, like a mother and a daughter.

After hours of crying, I finally straightened up, and wiped away any stray tears. I took a deep breath, and looked at the gorgeous vampire beside me.

"Claire, I know this is hard to accept, but Ethan… well, he isn't with us anymore." I blinked, and nodded my head robotically. "Do you want to stay here with me the night?" she asked in a maternal tone. I nodded my head, and curled up into a ball at her side, while she cooed me to sleep. I closed my eyes, and waited for the usual humming of the invisible presence that always surrounded me, but tonight I didn't hear the humming, nor did I feel the safe blanket of what I thought to be _him_. Instead I drifted off into a restless sleep, making me toss and turn all through the night.

* * *

I awoke the next morning to find Rosalie still by my side, in the same clothes as the day before. Her eyes connected with mine, and I felt safe, though not as safe as I did with the invisible force that always watched over me.

"Thanks Rosalie," I croaked. She smiled, and sat up.

"Would you like something to eat?" she asked, as I sat up and stretched. I shook my head, and she gave me a disapproving look. "You should eat Claire. Can you imagine what _he_ would say if he would out you weren't eating properly?" I was grateful that she didn't say _his_ name.

"Fine, I'll have something to eat," I grumbled, before sighing. Rose just smiled, and left me with some clothes and my thoughts as she went to prepare breakfast.

Minutes later, I was padding down the stairs, in fresh clothes that Rosalie left for me. When I reached the bottom, I was pulled into a massive hug. After what felt like hours, I was put down, and looking down at me, was Rachel Black. She wasn't too old, only a few years older then Kim, but I still felt closer to her then anyone in the room. Her eyes followed me, as I made my way over to the kitchen. Instantly, I was overwhelmed by the presence that greeted me. If only it had stayed with me through the night.

I smiled as I sat, hearing his sweet voice whisper words of comfort in my ear. Soon enough, that one voice was accompanied by another two, both of which I knew so well. The smile never left my face, as the three boys whispered in my ear, telling me how much they missed me.

After hours spent chatting with the Cullen's and listening to the whispers, I walked out of the mansion with Paul and Rachel trailing behind me. I was smiling, still listening to the whispers in my ear, when I saw a figure leaning against the tree. I froze and stopped breathing as they pushed themselves up, and strolled casually in my direction. The tears welled up, and spilled over, but I didn't do a thing to wipe them away. The figure came closer, and I drew in a deep breath, steadying myself from the wrecking ball of emotions that battered my nerves, and left me gasping for air.

* * *

**Author's Note:** who's this figure? hold onto your hats, 'cause this is about to get interesting. so interesting even I don't know who I'm going to make the figure. I'm thinking maybe a human friend she had in high school? let me know in a review, or send me a message!

and a quick thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Remember, the more reviews, the faster I update ;D

see you on the flip side,  
Rachel xo


	5. Your Guardian Angel

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight. If I did, would I honestly have Edward as the hero and left Jake heartbroken? Honestly?

A big thanks to our amazing beta _HyperPixiexoxo_ for putting up with the horrid grammar and such ;D

* * *

****

Rachel's POV

I saw Claire stop in her tracks. This wasn't like her at all. I've known her since she was 2, and she has never acted this strange before. Not even when Quil died.

Paul and I shared a look that said 'what's going on?' as Claire stood frozen, staring at something in the distance. I watched as a range of emotions flickered through her eyes. Recognition, relief, fear, pain, happiness, confusion and finally, the sadness washed out all other emotions, as she stood there, tears streaming from her tired eyes.

I shot a worried glance at Paul, but he didn't see because he too, was staring off into the distance, his jaw slack, eyes wide. I chanced a look in the direction they were both staring at, only to see the most amazing thing. Claire opened her mouth, and whispered his name like it was a prayer.

**Claire's POV**

I can't believe it's him. It can't be him. I was insane; mentally unstable. I saw things that weren't really there. But when I breathed his name, his features relaxed some; like he was unconsciously holding his breath, and hearing my voice made him breathe again.

My eyes flickered over to Uncle Paul for the briefest second, only to find him staring wide eyed, just as I was. My gaze immediately returned to the figure, and I saw he was staring right back at me, his mop of black hair in his hollow eyes. No light sparkled from them, nor did any emotions. All I saw was an empty shell, as the world around me blurred slightly at the brims. I looked closer to see that his outline wasn't blurred like all the other times I had seen him. Now it was like looking out into the rain, and suddenly the rain stopped, leaving a beautiful scene behind it. Only this wasn't the scenery. I was looking into the eyes of someone who I cared for, and who cared for me right back.

"Uncle Paul, do you see him too?" I whispered, unable to tear my eyes away.

"Yes, Claire. But… can it really be him? I mean, we saw him…" Uncle Paul whispered back, probably still looking at the figure of a dead friend.

Before I knew what was going on, my legs gave out, and I was being held by the strong warm arms. I looked into the hollow depths of my friend, and saw a ghost of an unknown emotion float through the black abyss known as his eyes.

**Unknown POV**

I watched her intently. She was my world, but unfortunately, I wasn't hers.

Her eyes brimmed with tears, as I shrugged off the tree, and made my way slowly towards her, Paul and Rachel. Then the most beautiful voice reached my ears, as Claire breathed my name. I felt myself visibly relax, as her voice washed over me, like the waves crashed over the shore. I knew it was time for me to either stay, my soul taken away forever, or to leave, and have my heart ripped from my chest. I didn't know what I should choose. She isn't mine, and she never will be.

"Uncle Paul, do you see him too?" Claire whispered, her hazel eyes never leaving my face.

"Yes, Claire. But… can it really be him? I mean, we saw him…" Paul whispered back in his husky voice. His eyes shone, like unshed tears were threatening to fall.

My gaze returned to Claire, and I saw her knees shake, and then just as they buckled, I caught her. Her little body was quivering, probably from the shock of seeing her dead best friend. Her eyes connected with mine, and for the first time since dying, and seeing all the things I saw, I felt a small sliver of hope. But that hope disappeared as quickly as it made its appearance once I heard the menacing voice hiss, his hot breath causing a shiver to make its way down my spine. It was then I knew that I had to leave. I would sacrifice my heart for hers any day. She may not love me like I love her, but nobody should have lost that many people in the small timeslot that she did. I took once last look at her, and kissed her forehead, my scratchy dead voice coming out as a frightening whisper.

"Goodbye Claire. We will always watch over you. We love you." With that, I nodded to Paul, whose eyes were bulging out of their sockets, and gave Rachel a small wave and a sad smile as I saw the tears streaming from her eyes. Neither responded, but I could almost feel their goodbyes.

I spun on my heel, and walked towards the darkness, that only I could see, but all could feel. That was where I saw _him_. He, Scotty and Ethan were waiting, eyes filled with pain, as the only girl we ever loved was curled in a fetal position in the dirt, tears cascading from her eyes. I felt a stab of pain, as she sobbed, and begged for me not to leave. I knew the reason she was only begging for me was because she couldn't see the other three men, but it still made my heart swell as she reached out uselessly to grab onto the body that was no longer attainable. Once inside the darkness, we were like ghosts – no-one could touch us, but they could definitely see us. Almost instantly, I wished I had stayed behind, soullessly roaming the earth until I found a way to end it, once everyone was… gone.

**Claire's POV**

"But I _saw_ him Aunt Em! I'm not kidding! Uncle Paul and Aunt Rachel saw him too!" I shouted. I know what I saw, and he was definitely there.

"Ssh, sweetie, I know you think you saw him, but baby, it's _just_ a hallucination," Aunt Em cooed. I was getting sick of this, so I turned to my Aunt and Uncle, begging them with my eyes to confess.

"Please, please tell me you saw him! Please, Aunt Rachel, I _know_ you did! I saw you crying when he left…" my voice cracked, and I held back the traitorous tears that threatened to spill.

"Honey, I think we were seeing things. He wasn't there. Maybe it was our mind playing tricks on us, since that was where he…" she trailed off, as her eyes filled with more tears. She was just as close to him as I was, and it affected both of us strongly when he… passed on. Neither could bear to say the four letter word that started and ended with the letter 'D'.

"Please," I whispered brokenly and closed my eyes, "please say you saw it too."

"Sorry darling, I just… I just can't prove it to be real. I want to agree with you so badly, trust me, I do. But if we keep living in denial, our lives aren't going to be the best they can be," Uncle Paul reasoned. He was so calm, and collected that it infuriated me. It didn't matter that he was my favourite; I just wanted to go punch him, so I did.

"I _know_ you saw him! Why can't you just agree with me! Is it because I'm crazy?! Because you don't want to be considered crazy too?! If it is, then tell me, so I can go admit myself to the asylum!" I screamed in his face.

I watched as he scrubbed his face with his hands, and sighed tiredly.

"I saw him. I really did. I don't know if it was really him, but I did see it," he admitted. Aunt Rachel nodded slowly, her eyes glued to the floor. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair nervously.

"Ethan…" I breathed. I missed him so much. I know it had only been a few hours since I found out he um, passed away. But it didn't matter. He was gone, and I missed him.

Uncle Paul's head snapped up as I caressed my baby's name. He whispered something to Aunt Rachel, but I couldn't care less. Right now, all I wanted was my baby boy; my sunshine. I had never felt so dependant on anyone as I do now. But Ethan was my rock. He was the reason I got up in the morning, and now that he was gone, I didn't really have a reason to keep on living. Nothing but _his_ promise was keeping me here now.

"Uncle Paul?" I whispered. He looked at me curiously. "I'm sorry for punching you in the face." He laughed, and soon, everyone but me was laughing too. I didn't see why it was so funny. "Can you guys take me home now? I'm tired, and I don't think I should drive in the condition…"

"Sure sweetheart. Let me go get my keys and we'll be on our way. The girls are staying here the night, but if _anyone _tries to chat up my daughters, I will have your asses," Uncle Paul said, loud enough for all the newer wolves to laugh, while he shot dirty looks at Andy and Jayce.

I rolled my eyes and Aunt Rachel guided me to the car. Once inside she spoke.

"Sorry for not speaking up Claire," she mumbled.

"No worries Aunt Rachel. Sorry for punching your husband in the face, then screaming at him, like the loony I am." She smiled, and I almost chuckled, but instead I gave a half-smile half-grimace.

"Jeez Claire, you worry more then Quil did," she joked, but her teasing tone immediately disappeared when she realized what she had said. "Claire… I'm sorry…"

"It's okay Aunt Rachel. Embry says that all the time," I lied, throwing her a sad half-smile.

Uncle Paul opened the car door, and slid in next to Aunt Rachel. He kissed her cheek, and started the car, before turning to give me his best puppy dog eyes.

"Claire…" he mumbled, looking heartbroken, but I could see a faint twinkle in his eye, showing me that this was all just a big show. "I'm _really_ sorry for not speaking up earlier. Can you pretty please forgive me?" he asked, his eyes wide, and get this… he pouted. My uncle, Paul Lansing, _pouted_! I burst into a fit of laughter, and Aunt Rachel soon joined in. Once I finally stopped, I looked up at my uncle, who was _still _pouting, and started all over again.

"Paul, stop. She's going to faint or something from lack of oxygen," Aunt Rachel scolded him. He then turned his pouting face onto her, and her eyes softened, and her pools of vibrant green filled with adoration for her husband. "You big oaf, lets get going. We've been sitting here for at least 20 minutes."

The drive home was quiet, and Uncle Paul and Aunt Rachel insisted they walked me to the door of my tiny house, just in case something unexpected happens… but I was out of luck, and I didn't see my knight in shining armor, or my best friends, or my baby. I internally sighed, before I turned to my aunt and uncle. I smiled, and hugged them both, earning a kiss on the cheek from Aunt Rachel, and a peck on the forehead from Uncle Paul. I waved as they drove off, and unlocked my door. Slowly, I opened it and walked into the living room, only to find the most amazing sight before my very eyes.

My eyes filled with tears, as I took in what was sitting on my couch. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Nothing but a tiny squeak of happiness escaped my lips. I soaked in what was happening, but before I could do anything dramatic or welcoming or even stupid, I realized I was holding my breath. But it was too late; I passed out in the middle of my crowded living room.

* * *

**Author's Note:**right, well, here's the fifth chapter. now my beta suggested I made the unknown POV one of Claire's best friends who loved her but died in a car crash, while one of my readers said they liked Joel, and wanted him to return. I'm not actually sure which one I should do.

send me a **review** telling me whether or not I should have **Joel** be the unknown guy who died from a vampire attack, or **Gabe**, her best friend who loved her, but died in a car accident.  
for those who love Joel and want to see his return, but also want to see what I'll do with Gabe, I could have Joel come back as a vampire?

also, check out the story **"Imprinter, you're own personal body guard"** by **GossipGirlBeatles FANATIC**. It's amazing, and definitely for those who love Paul and Rachel (they are by far my favourite imprint couple)

see you on the flip side, my lovelies,  
Rachel xo


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